Leading and being myself — is it possible?

Summary: Leaders can reconcile their work and authentic self. Personality-oriented coaching strengthens self-sensing, self-expression and value-based leadership in concrete everyday situations.

1 | Leading and being myself — is it possible?

Many leaders have mastered their craft. They analyze, decide, structure. They bear responsibility, succeed, and operate reliably.

And yet, at some point a quiet but persistent question arises:

"Where have I ended up in all of this?"

Not as a role. Not as a function. But as a person.

2 | When leadership consists only of thinking

In demanding leadership positions, thinking becomes the dominant force. Decisions must be made quickly, factually and strategically. Emotions, inner impulses and bodily signals fade into the background — not out of ignorance, but out of necessity.

2.1 | The silent separation of function and self

The problem arises where this inner separation becomes permanent.

Many leaders report:

• They make the right decisions — but feel empty inside.
• They communicate clearly — yet no longer appear truly present.
• They function reliably — but lose contact with what matters to them.

What is missing is not competence. What is missing is self-contact.

Self-contact and self-awareness can be experienced in a sparring on equal footing through a personality-oriented leadership coaching and integrated as a new competence in leadership and life.

3 | Self-sensing as the basis of inner clarity

Self-sensing means the ability to perceive your own inner signals: tension, congruence, resistance, resonance.

Not as emotions in the classic sense, but as subtle inner orientation.

A knowing that is not fueled exclusively by arguments, but by experience, body awareness and inner stance.

To truly experience and deepen this inner clarity, you need another person: someone who mirrors your presence, makes your impact on others visible and responds to subtle signals. Only in exchange, in real situations and through feedback in a personality-oriented coaching does it become clear how authentically your inner orientation is translated into outward expression.

3.1 | Decisions are not made in the head alone

Leaders who lose their self-sensing often decide purely cognitively. Leaders with good self-sensing decide in an integrated way — thinking, perception and values interlock.

The result:

• more inner stability
• less internal pressure
• clearer priorities

Not because external pressure disappears, but because orientation arises within.

4 | Self-expression: When inner clarity becomes visible

Self-sensing remains ineffective if it is not expressed.

Self-expression means:

• speaking clearly without hardening
• being present without staging oneself
• taking a position without bending oneself inwardly

Leaders with coherent self-expression do not seem louder, but clearer. Their team senses that decisions are not only functional, but also carried inwardly. Authentic presence arises where inner clarity and external expression align.

4.1 | How presence emerges — a psychological perspective

1. Body as a resonance space Presence begins in the body. Our nervous system constantly sends signals about posture, breath, muscle tension and gestures. Those who consciously perceive these signals can recognize and regulate inner states — e.g. tension, restlessness or clarity. Practically this means: an upright posture, deep, even breathing and calm movements signal stability — inwardly and outwardly. Presence becomes perceptible because body, mind and emotions are synchronous.
2. Inner clarity through focused self-awareness Authentic presence requires perceiving oneself in real time. Those who clearly sense themselves — thoughts, feelings, values — can shape actions and words from this inner orientation. Exercise: Pause briefly before decisions or meetings, register the body, the thoughts and the inner stance. This creates orientation and calm.
3. Actively using emotional resonance People perceive emotions nonverbally. Those who feel authentically and convey this inner stance in voice, gestures and facial expressions are experienced as present. Practical: Pay attention to small signals — how you yourself react to a situation — and consciously steer these reactions. Presence does not arise through volume, dominance or perfection, but through inner congruence.
4. Integration of reflection and action Presence is more than attention; it arises when inner clarity is translated into purposeful action. Decisions, words and gestures then mirror one’s inner state. The team senses immediately: here someone acts out of conviction, not out of role duty.
5. Regular training

• Breathing and body exercises: Pause briefly, perceive the breath, relax the body.
• Situational reflection: Briefly check the inner state before meetings or conversations.
• Observation of impact: Reflect on feedback from the team — what comes across as clear and congruent, what does not? This way presence can be trained and become tangible step by step.

5 | Values as inner orientation — not as an ideal image

Many leaders know their values — sometimes not precisely or deeply enough. Often they seem to contradict company values. This creates stress. Few can consistently defend personal values under pressure. In complex organizations situations arise daily in which personal values seemingly conflict with external demands.

5.1 | Resolving the inner contradiction

The key is not to change all external demands or to enforce your own values uncompromisingly. Rather, it is about consciously shaping inner clarity and room for maneuver:

1. Make values concrete and prioritize them Instead of keeping abstract terms, it is worthwhile to translate values into concrete behavioral indicators: What does "integrity" mean for me in a decision? Which actions correspond to my idea of "respect"?
2. View situations with nuance Not every conflict is a real values conflict. Some apparent contradictions arise from different perspectives or misunderstandings. By perceiving the situation analytically and emotionally at the same time, you can recognize where real boundaries lie and where adjustment is possible without inner harm.
3. Consciously choose between action options Inner clarity arises when you actively decide: Which options are available to me? Which action corresponds to my core values? Where is acceptance sensible without denying myself?
4. Connect self-sensing and self-expression Value-orientation becomes effective when inner clarity is combined with coherent expression. Decisions and communication then reflect your own stance — perceptible to others even under pressure.
5. Reflection and feedback from the other A counterpart who reflects and mirrors authentically helps to identify blind spots and calibrate your own expression. This creates a practice-oriented integration between inner orientation and outward leadership action.

Result: The contradiction between personal and company values is not ignored but navigated consciously. Leaders make decisions that are inwardly coherent, remain able to act and preserve their authenticity.

Inner clarity does not arise through control, but through alignment and room for action.

6 | Leadership beyond self-optimization

This understanding of leadership has nothing to do with perfection. It is not about always being calm, sovereign or present.

6.1 | Presence even in uncertainty

It is about staying in contact with yourself — even in ambivalence, pressure and uncertainty.

Leading and being oneself do not exclude each other. On the contrary: leadership becomes more resilient when the person does not disappear from it.

7 | Personality-oriented coaching as a space for integration

Personality-oriented coaching creates space to:

• consciously reflect on your leadership role
• re-perceive inner signals
• embody decisions rather than only analyze them
• develop a coherent self-expression

7.1 | Change arises through experience

Not detached from everyday life, but right in real leadership situations.

Sustainable change does not happen through new concepts, but through new experiences — inwardly as well as outwardly.

8 | Conclusion: Leadership becomes clearer when the person remains visible

Intellectual leaders eventually stop looking for the next tool. They look for depth, clarity and inner alignment.

Leading and being myself — it is possible. Not as a technique. But as a conscious, lived attitude and consistent action in everyday life. It is about transferring inner clarity and values visibly and tangibly into decisions, communication and presence — authentic, congruent and effective.