Schema therapy made easy – how your inner child is supported by the healthy adult

Summary: Schema therapy explains how early-formed patterns and the inner child shape our behavior and how the healthy adult as an inner coach supports and contributes to lasting emotional healing.

1 | What is schema therapy actually?

Schema therapy is a modern form of psychotherapy that addresses feelings and thoughts at the same time It helps especially when old patterns determine your life – patterns that often originated in childhood. Maybe you know this: you notice that in certain situations you repeatedly feel hurt or unconsciously make choices that are not good for you. This is exactly where schema therapy approaches things in a surprisingly understandable and effective way: it helps you to recognize, understand and change these patterns.

It was developed in the 1990s by Jeffrey Young and is counted among the so-called third wave of cognitive behavioral therapy. Unlike classic behavioral therapy, which focuses mainly on current thoughts and behaviors, schema therapy combines cognitive, behavioral and emotion-focused methods. Jeffrey Young wanted to create something that helps particularly with chronic problems and deeply rooted patterns. Behavioral therapy thus uses the findings of depth psychology, which since Sigmund Freud and C.G. Jung has especially researched unconscious, early-childhood influences on the human psyche. Behavioral therapy and depth psychology therefore come closer together in modern psychotherapy and benefit from each other.

1.1 | How does schema therapy work?

At its core, it is about discovering your so-called schemas, understanding them and finding new ways to deal with them. Schemas are deeply rooted patterns of thinking and beliefs about yourself, others and the world. They often develop in childhood and can influence you for a lifetime, often even unconsciously. Whenever you get triggered, are overwhelmed by very strong uncontrollable feelings, feel extremely helpless, angry or vulnerable: a schema has got hold of you. Psychotherapy helps you recognize these schemas and understand your triggers: you understand which needs underlie these feelings, what they have to do with your childhood and how you can meet them now, as an adult person.

2 | The inner child – who is that?

2 The inner child – who is that? An important component of schema therapy is the inner child. Your inner child represents feelings, vulnerability and needs from your past that perhaps were never properly seen or understood. It may still trigger fear, sadness or anger in you – these are precisely the feelings that are to be worked on in therapy.

2.1 | The healthy adult – your inner coach

Your inner child are thus your emotional parts that developed in your biography. But who comes to therapy or guidance? That is the adult part in you that lives in the present, can think realistically and set boundaries, and deeply inside senses that it can protect you. Your “healthy adult” is your inner coach who is there for you. He can comfort, protect the inner child and help it heal old wounds and overcome self-doubt. Schema therapy trains you to activate this healthy adult in your everyday life so that it gradually replaces old patterns. You can then coach and accompany yourself.

2.2 | Coping styles – how we deal with inner pain

When a schema or the inner child is activated, your psyche automatically tries to cope with this inner stress. These strategies are called coping styles. There are basically three typical ways of coping:

• Subordination (you adapt, put yourself aside)
• Avoidance (you distract yourself, withdraw, numb feelings)
• Overcompensation (you become controlling, perfectionistic or very strong)

These coping styles are not “wrong” – they were often necessary in the past to survive emotionally. Only today they are no longer helpful. They can even lead to anxiety, strong self-doubt, addictions, compulsions or depression.

Mental illnesses or serious impairments in everyday life belong in medical hands and should always be evaluated by a physician or a licensed psychological psychotherapist.

3 | Why schema therapy is so effective

As long as the inner child is still deeply hurt, your nervous system remains on alert. In this state the healthy adult can hardly take over. Then an old coping style automatically kicks in because it feels safer – even though it harms in the long term.

Only when the inner child feels seen, soothed and protected does internal space for functional behavior arise. That is why schema therapy does not rely on “pulling yourself together” alone, but on emotional healing.

Schema therapy can be very helpful because it does not only treat symptoms superficially, but tackles the causes of your problems. Studies show that schema therapy is particularly successful in the long term with chronic problems, anxiety, relationship difficulties or depression. It combines insight (understanding why you react the way you do) with emotional work (feeling and changing) – a combination that works deeply. And: a schema therapist explains each step to you. The education, called psychoeducation, is very important in schema therapy.

3.1 | What the work actually looks like

In practice you first recognize your schemas, then learn how your inner child reacts, and finally practice activating your healthy adult. This happens through conversations, role plays, pen-and-paper exercises or small visualizations. It is about feeling what you would have needed earlier and giving yourself exactly that now. In holistic psychotherapy methods from depth psychology or other therapy forms, such as Katathymic Imagery (KIP), are also used to understand schemas, make them experiential and transform them into new resources.

4 | A small inner child exercise for home

 You can start right now to strengthen your inner child:

• Sit in a quiet place and close your eyes.
• Imagine meeting your younger self, perhaps 6 or 8 years old.
• Look at them lovingly and say inwardly: “I am here for you. I will look after you.”
• Feel how your inner child reacts. It may laugh, cry or simply be present.
• If you like, you can place a hand on your heart and imagine that you both are connected.

5 | Conclusion – why it’s worth it

Schema therapy is like a toolbox for your psyche: it helps you recognize old patterns, understand and comfort your inner child, and strengthen your healthy adult. It is especially valuable for young people because it not only treats problems, but also promotes self-understanding, self-care and emotional strength. Those who commit to this process learn not only to deal with old wounds, but also to lead a freer, more self-determined life.

If you are curious or feel that schema therapy might be helpful for you, I warmly invite you to an initial consultation – a first step to get to know yourself and your inner patterns better. My practice for psychotherapy in Bochum city center offers you a protected and powerful space to discuss your issues with me.